Santa_10

1. Before going to Europe on business, a sardar drove his Rolls-Royce to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5,000. The loan officer, taken aback, requested collateral. "Well, then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce", the sardar said. The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping, and gave him $5,000. Two weeks later, the sardar walked through the bank's doors, and asked to settle up his loan and get his car back. "That will be $5,000 in principal, and $20.30 in Interest", the loan officer said. The sardar wrote out a check and started to walk away. "Wait sir", the loan officer said, "while you were gone, I found out you are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow $5,000?" The sardar smiled. "Where else could I park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $20.30?"
2. Once a Hindu, Muslim and our dear Santa Singh are standing when a Britisher comes and asks "Hey guys what are your favorite flowers?
Hindu: "Lotus"
Britisher: "Ha I clean my shit with that!"
Hindu is surprised and angry as lotus being our national flower.
Muslim: "Chameli"
Britisher: "Ha I clean my shit with that!"
Muslim also surprised and angry.
Britisher: "sardarji and what is your favorite flower?"
Patriotic Santa: "CACTUS!"


3. Santa singh and Banta singh went to Australia in search of job.santa said, you go east and i'll go west and we shall meet here at the same spot in the evening.so in the evening santa came empty handed and banta came in a beautiful car.how did you get it,asked santa,i was walking along the road a pretty girl invited me to sit in this beautiful car,i did that and she took me deep in the jugle and came out of the car, removed all her cloths and commanded me,take whatever you like.i took the car and came running to you,banta said.at this exclaimed santa, "arre bewaqoof kapde kyon chhod diye".

4. A sardar, a japanese, and a britisher were lost in the desert. They were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down,because they had nothing else they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep as they continued their journey. The japanese took the radiator, the britisher took the seat, and the sardar took the door. After a while of walking the britisher asked the japanese "I'm confused, why did you bring the radiator?" The japanese responded, "If I get thirsty, I can drink the fluid." Next the sardar asked the britisher "Why did you bring the seat?" So the britisher said "If I get tired,I am not going to sit on the sand.
I can sit on this comfortable seat." Finally the japanese asked the sardar why he had chosen the door. The sardar quickly responded to this question, "Well, when it gets hot all I have to do is roll down the window."


5. Why couldn't the sardar write the number "eleven"?
He didn't know which "one" came first...


6. Why does a sardar only change his baby's diapers once a month?
Because it says right on the box "good for up to 20 pounds."


7. Did you hear about the sardar skydiver?
He missed the Earth!


8. Did you hear about the sardar who asked his friends to give him all their burnt out light bulbs?
He just bought a camera and wanted to set up a Darkroom


9. Once a Sardarji went to a toilet, and on the door inside the toilet was written , "Congratulations!!! You have won yourself a free ticket for An amazing tennis match, for your ticket please look at your left", and on the left wall was written , "look at your right", and on the right wall was written , "look at your left ".

10. Did you hear about the sardar who signed all his checks so no one else could use them if he lost his checkbook?


11. A girl ask her boyfriend (SARDAR) when we get Engaged u'll give me a ring naa,he replied yes ofcourse give me u'r telephone no:

12. Once a Sikh, a Hindu, a Muslim & a Christian Priest met & were discussing their collections from offerings from devotees after conducting the prayers. The Christian priest said : "I throw all the collections in the air after drawing a Cross on the floor & whatever falls on the cross goes to the church & i take the balance".The Muslim priest said : "I follow a similar principle. I throw all the money after drawing a crescent on the floor & whtever falls on the crescent goes to the mosque ,the rest i keep".the hindu priest says :"I write OM on the gorund & throw all the collections in the air, whatever falls on the OM goes to the temple ,the rest I keep". THEN all of them look at the Sardarji who says: I THORW ALL THE COLLECTIONS IN AIR, WHATEVER GOD KEEPS IS HIS,WHATEVER FALLS ON THE GROUND , I KEEP IN ALL HUMLITY.


13. Banta Singh was painting his living room one hot day. "Why", his friend Santa Singh asked him, "are you wearing two jackets?".
"Because," said Banta Singh, "The directions on the can said to put on two coats."


14. A sardar was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway. On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; The following day less than a mile. Then the foreman asked the sardar why he kept painting less each day,he replied "I just can't do any better. Each day I keep getting farther away from the paint can."


15. We're almost there," said the Santa Singh to Banta Singh. "See those two houses over there... mine's the one in the middle!"


16. Why does a Sardar keep empty beer bottles in his fridge?
They're there for those who don't drink.


17. Why do sardar laugh when he see's lightning in sky??
Answer-Because he thinks his photograph is being taken.


18. Once a Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks. He takes along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops him and asks -kyon bhai, ye sab kyon leke ja rahe ho? Sardarji replies Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun.


19. Once upon a time, samtasingh was working in a circus and suddenly one of the lions broke off the cage. everyone was panicking and so the manager decided to ask our bold sardarji to solve this problem. so he let him in. now, as soon as samtasingh entered in the lion roared after him in hunger. so our samtaji sat into the jeep and raced at top speed. soon to his fate he discovered that the lion was just after him. just ahead there came a diversion so sardarji gave the indicator left and turned right, and luckily the lion went left. but soon after this again he joined the main road and the lion was after him, so this time he gave the indicator for right and turned left, and so did the lion. getting very happy at his cleverness, the sardar laughed. but after a few minutes again he joined the main road and the lion was after him. this time there was no diversion ahead. so our samtaji stopped the jeep and waved the lion to go in front of him as if to overtake.and the lion even did this. moral of the story:- "there are some sardar species in lions too."
20. A sardar saw an advertisement "wanted a volentere for a unique experiment..1 lakh RS. Sardar thought for a moment why not....he landed up at the lab and lo....doctors were very delighted...One of the doctors wanted to explain him the experiment..The doctor said look we want to find out what is a mix between a man and a female gorrila..so you have understood the rest..and you know its 1 lakh...sardar thought for a minute and said ok...I am ready but I have three conditions
1..nobody will see what I am doing to her
2..I will not kiss her
3..I will pay 1 lakh in installments