Santa_11

1. Then there's the one about the Sardarji who brought his binoculars to a funeral where they were going to bury a distant relative of his...


2. Once a cruise ship carrying people from all the nations was going on a 'around the world' tour when it got grounded. The ship became slow and finally came to a grinding halt.Captain of the ship called an emergency meeting and told the passengers, " Friends, we are in trouble because of God's being angry with us. We need to give sacrifice and I need three people to sacrifice their life so that rest of us can be saved." All of them moved towards the Deck where a japnese came forward and shouted "Long live japan" and jumped into the sea.Then a Israeli jew stepped forward said "Hellulaja" and dived into the sea.After that no one came forward for few seconds while people stared at each other and suddenly out of nowhere a Sardarji came forward near the railing and chanted, " Jo bole-so-nihal, sat sri akaal, wahe guruji da khalsa, wahe guruji di fateh, Jai maa Kali, Jai maa Durga, Jai Hanuman, jai Sri Ram, Jai siva-sankar, Jai baba nanak di, Jai jawan jai kissan ".................... and finally yelled at the top of his voice, "Bharat mata ki jai",
And Kicked the pakistani standing next to him in the sea.


3. How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence?
Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear


4. What did the sardarji do when he noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency?
He turned it over and used the other side.

5. Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed!!!


6. What did the sardarji do when his wife gave birth to twins?
He went searching for the other man.

7. A sardarji going to London on a plane, how can you steal his window seat?
Tell him the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.

8. What do you do when a Sardarji throws a pin at you?
Run like Hell.... he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.

9. Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman as opposed to a Regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.
10. Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station. Hari Singh asks the clerk: "Can I take this train to Ludhiana?"
"No," answers the Railway man.
"Can I?" asks Gani Singh.

11. A sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs
Start approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him
"kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai"
Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai Lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata " .

12. Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train.
He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the station arrived.
This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees,the sardarji deserved more service.
So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home.
Reaching home, he went to Wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror. Said his wife " What's the matter?" Replied he "The cheat on the Train has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else"

13. Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and Started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is Missing ;
what are you thanking God for ?"
The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I
wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."


14. Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a Sardarji were sent to the outer space .The ground control issues commands "Rubi!" "Woof!" (its the barking sound )
"Press the red button." "Woof! Woof!" "Moti!" "Woof!" "Press the white button." "Woof! Woof!"
"Sardarji!" "Woof." "Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch anything!"

15. Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay.
They managed to to a double-decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom
seat,But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top.
After a while when the rush was over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Banta Singh.
He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Arre Banta Singh ! What the heck's goin' on? Why are you So scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ?
Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a *driver.*"

16. Sardar went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.
"I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to SARDARs," he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned to tell the salesman "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.
"Damn, he recognized me," he thought. he went for a complete
disguise this time, haircut and new hair color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before he again approached the salesman.
"I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed "How do you know I'm a Sardar?" "Because that's a microwave," he replied.


17. One day sardarji was sitting in his office on the thirteenth floor of a building when a man came running in to his office and shouted "Santa singh your daughter Preeto just died in an accident" Sardarji was in panic.Not knowing what to do he jumped from his office window while coming down when he was near the tenth floor he remembered he didn't have a daughter named preeto. When he was near the fifth floor he remembered he was not married.When he was about to hit the ground he remembered he was not Santa Singh.

18. A Sardar buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Delhi to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number.
The Sardar says, "I want my 20 lakhs."
The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you one lakh today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 weeks."
The Sardar said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it."
Again, the man explained that he would only get a lakh that day and the rest during the next 19 weeks.
The Sardar, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me my 20 lakhs right now, then I want my five rupees back!"

19. Banta : Tell me five FERROCIOUS animals you can think of...
Santa : 3 Lions and 2 Tigers.


20. Santa singh and Banta singh were always boasting of their parents achievements to each other.
Santa singh : Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?
Banta singh : Yes, I have.
Santa singh : Well, my father dug it.
Banta singh : That's nothing, have you ever heard of Dead sea?
Santa singh : Yes, I have.
Banta singh : Well, my father killed it.