Santa_7

1. Santa Singh ji the english lecturer Sardar Santa Singh ji is the english teacher in a school. He is very well renowned for all his students do very well in exams. The school is having an inspection and the inspector decided to visit the english class. This is what transpires : Santa Singh : " Bolo bachon GADHA "
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA "
Santa Singh : " Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA "
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA "
Santa Singh : " Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MAI"
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE MAI"
Santa Singh : " Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH "
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH"
By this time the inspector is furious . He confronts the principal and shouts at him "What is this Santa Singh teaching to students. He is supposed to be taking an english class and what he is saying is GADHA,GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH .The principle too is shocked , Santa Singh the famous english teacher doing this. He immediately sends for for Santa Singh.
Principal : " Santa singh ji what nonsense are you telling these students , GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH".
Santa Singh : " Yes i was telling all this in class, but i was only teaching the students the spellings of ASSASSINATION (ASS ASS I NATION).

2. Santa Singh was travelling in a crowded bus. He was carrying the Passport size photograph of his son (for college admission). Accidently, the photograph fell down from his pocket. He started searching for it frantically & found the same on the floor of the bus. Politely,he asked the saree clad female, standing in front of him,"Can you lift that saree? I wanna take a photograph" The rest is history. He was beaten so badly that he had to be admitted in a hospital. He was surprised to see Banta Singh on the bed next to him,in a still worse condition. Banta started to explain his "Adventure". He had gone to a remote village on some work & due to his high level of intelligence, couldn't finish the work on time. He had missed the last bus from that place. He couldn't find any Hotel. So he approached a nearby house and asked the Owner whether he can stay there for the night.The Owner replied"I have 2 grown up daughters.Sorry,I can't allow you to stay". He approached the next house and asked whether he can stay there for the night. The Owner replied,"I have 3 grown up daughters.Sorry,I can't allow you to stay". He went towards the next house and without taking any risks,asked," Do you have "grown up" daughters?". The Owner asked,"WHY?????????" Banta replied," I wanted to stay here for a night.....

3. Once there were 2 sardarjis who were engaged in printing fake notes. Accidently one day one of the sardarjis printed one 7 rupee note. Not knowing what to do with this he went to the other sardarji and asked him whether he has change for a 7 rupee note, the other sardarji replied yes and fetched a 3 rupee and a 4 rupee note as the change.

4. A sardar sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander as to why are the guys doing what they are doing
The bystander : A Marathon race is going on
Sardar : What do they get from that?
Bystander : The winner will get a prize
Sardar : Then why are the others running?!

5. Santa singh and Banta singh are employed in a computer hardware store as movers. One day both of them are asked to move some computers. Santa Singh being energetic that day doesn't feel the computer to be heavy at all. At the same time he sees that Banta Singh is struggling very hard to lift his computer. At this Santa Singh says " What Banta, my comp has 500 MB HD and urs has just 250, even then u cannot lift it ???" At this Banta Singh thinks for a while and replies "Thats right, but my HD is full and urs is empty"

6. The Sardarji Doctor to his patient: "It's very important that you take this medicine exactly 30 minutes before you feel the pain."

7. There were these two Sardarji twins who looked so incredibly alike, that sometimes they borrowed money from each other without the other really knowing about it.

8. We're almost there," said the Santa Singh to Banta Singh. "See those two houses over there... mine's the one in the middle!"
9.

10. Why does a Sardar keep empty beer bottles in his fridge?
They're there for those who don't drink.

11. Why do sardars have see-through lunch box lids?
So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to work or coming home.

12. A sardar's response to the comment, "THINK about it!":
"I don't have to think-I'm sardar!"

13. SantaSingh got up in the middle of the night to answer the telephone. "Is this one one one one?", says the voice. "No, this is eleven eleven." "Are you sure it isn't one one one one?" "No, this is eleven eleven." "Well, wrong number. Sorry to have got you up on the middle of the night." "That's all right, mister. I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway."

14. A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes running and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho(what are you doing)?" To this the man replies, "Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai, 'Wash Basin'"

15. A sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings, so he picks it up and says " Hello, how did you know I was here?"

16. A sardar was walking along, when he looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was directly over him. The sardar says, "Good thing that cows don't fly.

17. How many sardars does it take to pull off a kidnapping?
Six. One to kidnap the victim and five to write the ransom note.
18.

19. Why are sardar secret agents the best in the world?
Because even under torture they can't remember what they have been assigned to.
20.
A sardar was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway. On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile. then the foreman asked the sardar why he kept painting less each day, he replied "I just can't do any better. Each day I keep getting farther away from the paint can."